Things in My White House Correspondents Dinner Swag Bag

Things in my WHCD Swag Bag:

1 Warrantless Baby Monitor

1 copy of new suspense novel from Newt Gingrich, “Romancing the Shabu Shabu.”

1 copy of “Organize Your Closet, Organize Your Life” by Gov. Charlie Crist

1 Reversible Windbreaker – jointly donated by Sen. Arlen Specter and Scott McClellan

1 Jumbo Tea Bag – donated by Fox News Channel

1 Jay Rosen voodoo doll

Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” – autographed by Eric Cantor

1 tube of “Empathy” skin cream, with application instructions from Michael Steele

1 official WHPC whoopee cushion (use when the WHPC unexpectedly stands)

1 Caldera-autographed photo of AF1

1 can of Axe Body Tan Spray donated by John Boehner

1 bottle of Rasberry Wasabi Honey Mustard from Ray’s Hell Burger

1 copy of “Dick Cheney’s Waterboard Abs in 1 Month!” – the 183-step workout video

1 trial subscription to “Somali Pirate Booty” (discreetly enclosed in brown paper)